Growing up, I attended a very strict Catholic convent school. I feel that my Catholic upbringing prolonged the denial of my true sexual identity and adversely impacted my mental health, eventually leading to a diagnosis of recurrent depression and anxiety.
For many years, I literally prayed my way through the shame and guilt that I felt. At the time, I believed that, in order to fit in and to live a productive life, I should somehow try to distance myself from my true self. If my thoughts about having a relationship with another woman persisted, I reasoned with myself that I would spend the rest of my life trying to repent.
For many years, I continued to live in total denial of my sexual identity, which in turn severely impacted my mental health. My internal battle with depression and anxiety continued to rage. My demons of zero self-worth, hopelessness, self-deprecation and panic dominated my life and I became angry, confused and bitter.
After countless trips to the doctors, I was referred to psychiatrist who diagnosed me with recurrent depression and anxiety. This diagnosis made me feel even more depressed. For the first time, I realised that I needed to talk to someone, something that beforehand I would never have allowed myself to do.