Amy's story: Regaining clarity to cope

“I was feeling really run down and I just started crying in the surgery waiting room. I realised that I felt very sorry for myself indeed and that there was a huge issue with my mood.”

Amy found herself in tears while waiting for a routine GP appointment and it was a stark realisation that her mental health was taking a severe downturn.

Amy is a single mum and the primary carer for her 15-year-old adopted daughter, who is autistic and has high emotional support needs. Last winter, she was struggling with asthma and a persistent cough and so went to see her GP at Shoreham Health Centre. After breaking down in the waiting room, the appointment very quickly became about her mental health.

The GP diagnosed Amy with depression and referred her to West Sussex Mind’s emotional wellbeing service for an appointment with one of our mental health support workers in Amy’s surgery.

“I realised I'd been struggling with low mood for over a year, but I just hadn’t recognised it, because I’d been on automatic pilot caring for my daughter. I know that my mood usually worsens over winter, but I hadn’t realised how emotionally and physically exhausted I’d become.”

Increasing isolation

It took a couple of months for Amy’s appointment with Dana, West Sussex Mind’s mental health support coordinator, to come through. But just acknowledging that there was a problem and speaking to her family about it, including her daughter, made Amy feel a little better. A month before her appointment with Dana, however, Amy’s back went into spasm and she became bed-bound, escalating things further. Her mum had to come and look after her daughter and her dog, and she was in a lot of pain.

“To be so physically disabled all of a sudden was very isolating and only exacerbated my depression,” says Amy. “I didn’t have a large support network where I was living in Shoreham Beach and I felt in a scary and very vulnerable place.”

A holistic approach

When Amy had her first session with Dana, she was feeling overwhelmed and was feeling very stiff and finding it difficult to move. Dana looked at her whole situation – her physical health, work and financial situation, caring responsibilities and general mental wellbeing – and helped Amy to find practical and emotional support.

Dana put together a number of referrals and appointments for Amy. She linked Amy in with the Going Local social prescribing service, so that she could apply for Personal Independence Payments (PIP) and take some financial pressure off. Amy was able to use these funds to hire in a home help for a short period, and it was a real source of relief for Amy to have someone to help with housework and do tasks, such as taking washing out of the machine, that she found physically difficult.

For her back pain, Dana referred Amy to a pain reprocessing therapist, who Amy continues to see and whose work has been extremely beneficial for her physical health. “The therapy resets my nervous system and helps my back enormously,” says Amy. “It fits with my own core beliefs, too, that the way in which the body holds stress can cause problems with mental health – and that was certainly the case here.”

Amy’s daughter is autistic and is home-schooled – and has also experienced mental health challenges. Dana recommended resources and organisations to help with Amy’s daughter’s anxiety and low mood – and she referred Amy to Carers Support West Sussex to find peer support with fellow carers and other practical resources; "it was very helpful getting emotional support from others in a similar situation,” reflects Amy.

Reducing overwhelm and bringing clarity

Amy is a parenting therapist herself and, although she has good boundaries in her work, she is used to being the person who people routinely lean on. When she was feeling overwhelmed, Dana’s holistic approach really helped her see things more clearly and alleviated a lot of stress. “Dana was calm, empathetic and collaborative and she respected my own body of knowledge around health, which was important for me,” says Amy. “She helped reduce my feelings of overwhelm, which gave me greater clarity about my circumstances and the changes I needed to make.”

Amy has since decided to move to Hastings with her daughter, where her parents live and where she has a wider support network. “Dana helped me realise that I had been drowning in Shoreham for a while,” says Amy. “I didn’t have enough support and my family were in Hastings. So having Dana to help alleviate the huge weight I felt on my shoulders really was instrumental in my decision to make a new start in Hastings.”

Feeling hopeful for the future

Amy is feeling in a much better place now. She is having regular pain treatments for her back, is looking after herself and her needs better and is feeling much more hopeful about the future. “Of course, I do sometimes still feel run down and I do sometimes feel like I’m doing it all on my own,” she reflects. “But I’m not in crisis anymore and I feel much more hopeful.”

Amy says she would definitely recommend the Emotional Wellbeing Service to others and that the blend of practical and emotional support was extremely beneficial: “I was feeling overwhelmed in my daily life and I was at a really low ebb. So being able to have someone assess my whole situation, make referrals and even make first enquiries on my behalf was invaluable,” says Amy.

“Obviously you can make your own enquiries and research things on the internet, but when you’re feeling completely overwhelmed, this feels like too much. In many ways, it was practical help that I needed more than emotional support – and Dana did a really excellent job of helping me.”