Nathan's story: Developing with schizophrenia

I’m a young adult living with neurodiversity and schizophrenia. Both of them have presented me with challenges and positive experiences throughout my teenage years and in young adulthood. While it’s undeniable that having schizophrenia and being neurodivergent has been a struggle at times, I have learned how to live a happy and fulfilling life with complex and sometimes misunderstood mental health needs.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychosis over 10 years ago when I was hospitalised under the Mental Health Act. I also struggle with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder and although my neurodiversity hasn’t been formally identified, professionals agree that I have strong neurodivergent traits.

After my diagnosis, I began treatment for schizophrenia and psychosis through medication and although this has brought a good level of control to both disorders, they continued to affect my daily life. I really struggled with changes in routine and structure and was quite inflexible. Although I would usually try new experiences, I sometimes had strong feelings of anxiety and stress beforehand – which were then heightened if something went badly in my eyes.

However, over the last few years, I have worked hard to develop greater flexibility in my outlook and I now feel much more comfortable and confident with changes in routine and the difficulties that inevitably arise in life sometimes. I have also learned to communicate better with trusted people to navigate these worries – which has been helped by the self-reflective aspects of my neurodiversity to understand my own feelings and those of others – and I've used exercise and fitness to build my resilience.

The importance of a growth mindset

I see my life in quite a holistic way and I’m able to use growth mindset strategies to help me make progress where I can in my health, personal relationships and development. These strategies include learning from mistakes and criticism, identifying new challenges to take on and being persistent in all areas of my life. Having schizophrenia has continued to be disabling at times – with delusions, hallucinations and changes in perception and identity that have undermined my confidence, made me doubt myself and caused me a lot of distress, especially when I've been alone. However, I find that my neurodiversity can sometimes be a powerful enabler for me, helping me to organise my time, be dedicated to work, study and hobbies and be driven towards self-improvement. Therapy, including cognitive behavioural therapy, has also been a lifeline, helping me to concentrate on the here and now.

Amazingly, after leaving hospital and being diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychosis, I went back to college for a year, achieved my A-levels and managed to get to University to study a science. I was very driven. At times, I experienced severe anxiety at University and, although I am academically very capable, schizophrenia really affected my studies. Experiments were hard because of physical and coordination difficulties and anxiety, overstimulation and irrational thinking sometimes made study and exams challenging. However, getting support from others, my own motivation and enjoyment of learning – bolstered, I think, by my neurodiversity and having a growth mindset – meant that I worked hard and I managed to get a 2:2.

Finding fulfillment in the workplace

After University, I studied some Level 2 courses, including a learning support course and courses about IT, mental health awareness and learning disabilities. I wanted to get back to basics to improve my study skills and really enjoyed staying focused on specific subjects and exploring areas that were important to me both personally and professionally. After I finished the courses, I secured a position as a Learning Support Assistant at a further education college, where I support a wide range of learners with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND). It is amazing to have such a varied and joyous role where I can support others to learn day to day.

It shows how far I have come that I feel comfortable in a large team interacting with people all the time and that I feel confident enough to be flexible in changing scenarios and environments. I am also completing an IT-based apprenticeship supporting others in the college with technology, with a strong focus on inclusivity and accessibility.

Reflection and self-improvement

For me, one of the most important aspects of living with schizophrenia is having a growth mindset and continually reflecting about the positives in my life and areas for self-improvement. I do this in a variety of ways, including making notes on my mobile phone, writing down my self-reflections and discussing with family, friends and work colleagues what I could change to help myself grow. These strategies allow me to keep track of where I have been, where I am now and where I would like to be in the near future and to take pride in my growth and development. Here my neurodiversity helps, rather than hinders, me. By focusing on self-improvement, I feel I can make the best of opportunities in work and study.

I’m passionate about sport and fitness (I play tennis socially and go to the gym regularly) and both have helped enormously with my schizophrenia. Tennis helps with some of the psychological and physical aspects of schizophrenia, helping me to be mindful of the rhythm of the tennis ball, improving my hand-eye coordination and giving me social stimulation and enjoyment from playing with others. Fitness has improved my resilience to cope with schizophrenia: doing cardio and building muscle and flexibility (stretching) at the gym and doing structured workouts with a personal trainer have helped me to feel more confident about my body; exercise helps alleviates my anxiety and it gives me something else to strive for. Having a healthy diet with lots of fruit and vegetables has also helped me physically and mentally and I like to cook as much as I can and enjoy the smells, flavours and textures of food.

Countering stigma around mental health

It has been an interesting journey, discovering how neurodiversity and schizophrenia affect me in a multitude of ways – and how complex they are for me, my family and other people to understand. Although it may not be as clear cut as saying mental health has been all negative and neurodiversity all positive, I would say that my neurodivergent aspects have oddly helped me counteract and cope better with the difficulties presented by my mental health conditions.

Schizophrenia, in particular, isn’t talked about much in wider society and when we do hear about it, it is usually in an ultra-negative way. I hope that this blog demonstrates that it is entirely possible to live with a serious mental health condition, such as schizophrenia, and to live a happy and fulfilling life. Through self-improvement and self-reflection, I’ve developed hope, freedom and motivation to live my best life.