No more 'manning up'

We broke the silence around men’s mental health last week with our innovative and ground-breaking event, Unmasking Masculinity: Exploring Men’s Mental Health and Vulnerability, in partnership with Dad La Soul and AudioActive.

On a bitterly cold Thursday night, 70-odd people gathered in AudioActive’s central Worthing studio for an evening of lively debate and music broadly themed around two central questions: why don’t men seek help when they are struggling with their mental health and what can we do about it?

Two panel debates, four amazing rap performances and oodles of audience participation later – and the evening yielded engaging and much-needed conversations, exploring why men struggle to be open about their feelings, what kinds of support might appeal to men specifically and how wider society (parents, teachers, youth workers, politicians, communities) can be part of the solution.

As Dad La Soul founder, Dan Flanagan, said: “Men’s mental health and masculinity is everyone’s business”. And it really is, given that suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 45 in the UK. It’s a devastating statistic, but it speaks volumes of the deeply entrenched models of masculinity in our society that lead men to shy away from seeking help and suffer in silence – sometimes with devastating consequences.

The event opened with a performance by young rapper and AudioActive artist, Roscoe, and a thoughtful introduction from AudioActive CEO, Adam Joolia, who reflected on how the organisation’s Room to Rant music and lyric sessions for young men had literally saved lives by creating safe spaces to talk.

With discussions hosted by Richard Freeman of Always Possible, the first panel explored the lack of positive role models for young men, the absence of a sense of belonging and the influence of social media among other themes. YMCA Downslink’s Ed Richardson spoke about the “poor emotional literacy” he sees among boys and young men as one of the contributing factors towards poor mental health and the need to encourage greater “critical thinking” among young men to counter the influence of toxic models of masculinity online (think Andrew Tate).

Dr Beccy Cooper, MP for West Worthing, suggested that “Whitehall is running to keep up with the online space” and spoke about the need for government to give mental health “parity of esteem” with physical health and to fight for people to get the support they need. Meanwhile, AudioActive’s Nicholson Davids suggested that often young men lack a “sense of belonging and are turning to the online world to find that” and that they find community and connection through music. Ben of AllSorts reflected on the “pack rules” that govern masculinity, the ongoing challenges of misogyny and homophobia and shared his own experiences growing up as a gay man with honesty and authenticity.

Cut to four stunning rap performances from young AudioActive artists, JJM, Marshall Mandiangu, JAEBO and Lord, and audience contributions through the Mentimeter app and the evening progressed swiftly onto the second panel discussion, which focused more on potential solutions and models of support suitable for men.

Our chair, Sue Hawker, highlighted the need for “intentional conversations” about men’s mental health (like those taking place at the event) to counter the stigma around seeking support that still exists – and reflected on the “long shadow” cast by suicide that affects the whole community.

Matt Bannister said that his generation of men were in danger of perpetuating the “generational trauma” felt by fathers who had fought in two World Wars and learned that “stoic” was the best modus operandi for men. He suggested that men need to learn to be open about their feelings and parent their children differently or they were in danger of perpetuating this trauma.

Alternative forms of support?

There was a really interesting discussion around alternative forms of support that might appeal more to men. Men just don’t come forward for traditional forms of mental health support, principally talking therapies, in the same numbers as women (this is borne out by our own service user statistics) and can sometimes find this environment alienating.

AudioActive’s practitioner, Hatter, reflected on “the power of strangers” and how bringing young men together around a common activity – in this case, writing rap lyrics – and them not knowing each other made it easier for them to open up. Dad La Soul’s Dan Flanagan highlighted his organisation's “fun first, feelings afterwards” approach and said it was only after a few beers and a game of pool that the conversations started flowing. Indeed this was a key theme that emerged through the event – the power of talking and peer support for men, while engaged in another activity.

There weren’t any hard and fast solutions reached on the night, but West Sussex Mind came away from what our CEO Kerrin Page called an “amazing and inspirational event” feeling that this was just the start of a much wider conversation in our community and one which we’ll continue to encourage and participate in. Because men’s mental health and masculinity really is everyone’s business.